


Williams Sodoma

by the_genderman



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Butt Plugs, Crack, Domestic, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Innuendo, Misunderstandings, but not really, kitchen implements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 00:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16821895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_genderman/pseuds/the_genderman
Summary: It’s a rather unfortunately shaped kitchen implement, that’s all it is.Really.





	Williams Sodoma

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm really awful about replying to comments, but please know that I appreciate each and every one of them.
> 
> What kitchen implement is the fic about? [This thing.](https://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/reversible-meat-tenderizer)

Bucky knows that Natasha has little gift stashes hidden here and there around their quarters. She likes to be prepared for birthdays, holidays, anything and everything that comes with being an Avenger. So when he knocks a rarely used, fancy little clutch purse off their closet shelf and it lands on the floor with a surprisingly heavy clunk, he is intrigued. He knows he probably shouldn’t look, but he lets curiosity get the better of him. He steals a glance towards the bedroom door. The coast appears clear, so he opens the purse and reaches in. 

He pulls the object out and nearly drops it back on the floor as soon as he’s gotten a good look at it. It’s heavy, about six inches tall, and has an oblong shaft (maybe it’s a handle? Bucky’s not entirely sure what it’s supposed to be, but he knows what it _looks_ like) and a wide base, all smooth, shiny chrome. Well, smooth except for the ring of wicked-looking spikes ringing the base, pointing up towards the shaft-slash-handle. His butt clenches in fear. He’s more than happy with being on the receiving end of most of Natasha’s kinks in the bedroom, but this thing is a little worrying. _Spikes_. A ring of sharp little metal _spikes_.

“Babe? What are you doing?”

Bucky _does_ drop the implement when he hears Natasha’s voice in the doorway. How she can move so quietly still catches him by surprise.

“Nothing!” Bucky blurts out, stooping to scoop up the metal _thing_ and hide it behind his back.

Natasha’s eyebrows rise slowly and Bucky can see a smile creeping onto her face. “‘Nothing,’ hmm? Then what’s that in your hand?”

“Uhhhh,” Bucky replies, genuinely unsure of what he’s holding. 

Natasha walks around behind him and takes the thing out of his hand. She steps back in front of him and holds it up. “I have to ask. What were you doing with the meat tenderizer?”

“Meat tenderizer?” Bucky asks, his voice squeaking involuntarily. “No thank you, my meat is quite tender enough already.”

This draws a laugh from Natasha. “No really, it _is_ a meat tenderizer and not a euphemism. I’m gonna give to Steve for Christmas, since I know he’s taking cooking classes.”

Bucky takes the meat tenderizer back from her and investigates it a bit more closely, now that his immediate fear response has faded. He turns it over in his hands, examining the tool. He frowns down at it. “Tasha, no offense, but this is a _terrible_ design for a meat tenderizer. Where did you find this?”

“Tony gave it to me,” Natasha shrugs. “Over Thanksgiving. He said he bought it for Pepper, but she said she already had one, or something. I don’t know anything about cooking utensils, just weapons and sex toys.”

“Yes, which is why this thing scared me so bad when I stumbled across it. I thought it was some kind of sadistic butt plug. I mean, _spikes_ ,” Bucky replies with a grin, handing the meat tenderizer back to her. “Anyway, I’m gonna go with ‘or something.’ I mean, look at it. Most meat tenderizers look like a hammer. That style takes some of the impact off your hand and arm. If you use this thing, you’ll be essentially repeatedly slamming your fist into an already tough piece of meat. That’s gonna get real old, real fast. Also, the handle’s smooth metal with no grips; if you hit too hard and your hand slips, you’ll end up impaling yourself on all those spikes. Which is probably why Pepper politely declined it.”

Natasha nods, mouth twisting into the slight grimace that means she’s absorbing and tucking away the information she’s hearing. “That’s a fair point. I’ll find a different gift for Steve.”

“So, what are you going to do with this thing now?” Bucky asks, handing it back to Natasha, who tucks it back inside the clutch purse and puts the purse back on its shelf.

“I could always use it for what you originally thought it was for,” Natasha smirks.

“ _No_ thank you,” Bucky replies, shaking his head vigorously. “I am _not_ into pain play.”

“That’s also fair.”


End file.
